Becky says things about … an update on Stickman’s mental health

For those of you who witnessed the tragic and gratuitous mental breakdown of my friend and colleague Stickman in the previous blogpost, I’m sure you would like an update on his recovery.

Firstly, Stickman is not a well stick. After his very public emotional collapse, he ran amok round Microsoft Paint, and eventually broke into Microsoft Word, where he proceeded to hang from the ruler bar whilst swigging from a bottle of cheap Microsoft wine.

Inevitably, he then became violent and took his anger out on poor old Word Art, who couldn’t do anything about it being that it’s essentially a word generator and has no self defense skills, so Stickman pretty much beat the crap out of it.

Finally, after somehow getting into Google Images and being incredibly immature with a photograph of a sausage

Stickman finally crawled back to Microsoft Paint, where he became suicidal and rubbed out his own head.

It was at this point that I decided to intervene. I would have done so sooner, had Stickman not slyly changed my password while I’d nipped to the toilet so I couldn’t actually get into my laptop (after some guesswork as to what he might have changed it to, I finally hit the jackpot with ‘iwanttodie12’).

When I finally got hold of him and carefully drew his head back on, I decided to put him away for a little while to give him time to think about what he’s done and to try and gain some clarity over his increasingly nebulous mental condition. However, when he got wind of the fact that I’d recruited a couple of text smiley faces to help me with my blog, he broke out of Microsoft Paint and frankly behaved abominably.

So I have had him sectioned.

He is currently in a mental institute for deranged stickmen and from what I gather he is making a slow but positive recovery. He has taken up stick ballet and has even won the part of the White Swan in Swan Lake, which I’m sure we’re all very pleased about.

His road to recovery has not been without setback, unfortunately: apparently just two days ago he somehow got hold of the eraser tool and was caught trying to rub out his own foot, but luckily he was apprehended just in time and locked in a padded stick cell for 40 hours for his own protection.

We very much hope that Stickman will be back in action soon, and that he will get over the deep-rooted anguish about his childhood, but until then we wish him all the very best with his recovery, and I would ask you not to approach him or draw anything too near him, because he is volatile and a little bit dangerous at the moment, so it’s for the best if we all just leave him alone to think about the tragic state of his life at present. Thank you.

31 thoughts on “Becky says things about … an update on Stickman’s mental health

    1. I’m sure Stickman would love to be associated with those legends, but can I ask you not to elevate his ego to that extent, please, because the last thing I need is for him to develop egomania on top of everything else.Thanks.

  1. Do you think he might benefit from group therapy? Maybe if he spends a little time with Dab of Orange, Segmented Line, Shaped Like Weenie, and Daisy Doodle, he’d see that he’s not the only bit of artwork with problems…?

    1. God, I heard about Dab of Orange, she’s supposed to be completely nuts. Good idea, I’ll put it to him, but he’s being particularly unpleasant at the moment so might just tell me to **** off.

      1. Perhaps you should fit him with an ankle monitor and place him under house arrest; you don’t want him to turn up naked in a hotel room with a suitcase full of cocaine and a couple of porn stars.

  2. Becky, what is happening!?! I get busy and miss a week of posts, and suddenly stickman is emotionally unstable! This must be remedied!!!!

  3. My church will be taking a collection to fully fund Stickman’s recovery. I hope he can be rehabilitated to become a productive member of society once again. If not, I’m sure he’ll be fine anyway. Just look at Lindsay Lohan. She’s perfectly fine!

    1. Your support means a lot, thank you. Lindsay Lohan is actually Stickman’s idol, in fact he auditioned for the part of Richard Burton in the definitely brilliant ‘Liz and Dick’ opposite Miss Lohan, but he sadly lost out to a human which did nothing to boost his confidence, the poor little soul.

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