Becky says things about … failed exercise attempts

Hello, valued Listener. You look lovely today. That colour suits you.

Now. Exercise.

I know, it makes me feel a bit perturbed as well.

But I like exercise. I go through phases of doing it fairly regularly. I like an endorphin as much as the next man, and I enjoy the feeling of smugness that accompanies sweatily getting into a shower after a 30 minute run.

exercise1

But for every 30 minute run, there is the Failed Exercise Attempt. You know what I’m talking about, dearest, static Listener. Those planned exercise sessions, that picture of your ideal body pinned to your wardrobe, the delicate fillet of lemon sole in your fridge, all geared towards transforming you into the Most Awesomely Stunning Example of Physical and Aesthetic Perfection in the World. All going up in smoke like a wet tea towel left on a burning hob.

exercise2

I have identified four types of Failed Exercise Attempts throughout my extensive experience of the subject, and, for your ease of reference I shall detail them here.

The Unexpected Failure

You spend all day at work looking forward to a Really Good Session. You imagine your flushed cheeks, your sparkling eyes, your ripped abs, your toned thighs, your impossibly rounded buttocks. You bound home with the confident stride of a winner. You arrive home, you observe Rule No.1 of a successful exercise routine – DO NOT SIT DOWN EVEN FOR ONE MOMENT – you leap into your sports gear which you lovingly laid out on your bed this morning, you crank up some suitably noisy tunes on your iPod, you hop out into the cool evening light, you take those first sprightly steps in your new running shoes, the image of your disbelieving, beautiful face registering the roar of the crowd as you take Gold at the 100m final…

…and then the truth smacks you round the love handles like a horrible, slimy trout.

You really cannot be arsed.

exercise3

You try everything: you tell yourself you are fat and disgusting, you grab handfuls of your inner thighs, you search frantically through your Running playlist for a motivational tune, you make a promise to cut off your own hand if you don’t do a 30 minute run… But alas. It is all in vain. You just cannot be arsed.

You lope home, turning the serene evening air blue with your curses, you rip off your sportsgear, you kick your trainers at the wall, and you make six slices of toast and butter and spend the evening watching terrible, terrible television in a vile immovable torpor.

exercise4

The Expected Failure

You just know it’s going to end badly. You’re almost playing a game with yourself; you’re saying ‘Oh right, going to exercise are we? Really? Huh. Yeah, good luck with that. We’ll just see what happens, shall we? You’re ridiculous.’

You go through the whole sorry rigmarole of putting on sportsgear, you find your running playlist, chuckling sadistically to yourself, you stomp outside, you take an almost ironic little jogging step…

…and the whole thing unravels with a tedious inevitability.

exercise5

You spend three hours eating chocolate and ice cream in front of YouTube, but you tell yourself it’s okay because you expected to fail, so, in actual fact, you haven’t actually failed at anything because you succeeded in meeting your expectation to fail, and you open the second tub of ice cream to celebrate your astute self-awareness.

The Gallant Attempt

Most likely to occur in gyms, where the social pressure is most acute.

You start off okay. You get a bit sweaty on the bike. You go really fast on the crosstrainer for two minutes, which probably burned about 3,000,000 calories because you were going so fast. You plod for a bit on the treadmill. You look at the chest press, and note the intention to use it. You know you’re on a knife edge, you can feel eyes on you. Cruel eyes. Judging eyes.

exercise6

You pull yourself together, you stride across the gym with a determination that even Rocky couldn’t  muster, you grab the weighty-arm-strengthener-handle-pully thing, you give it an almighty tug with the strength of an ox in his prime…

…and it hurts slightly, the gym is just so stuffy, your shoes are rubbing, you’re thinking about dinner, and life’s too short.

You scuttle into the changing rooms, splash some water over your face so at least it looks like you broke a sweat, and you drive home shaking your head and cursing the £100 a month you pay in order to humiliate yourself.

exercise7

The Non-Attempt

You lie on your bedroom floor intending to do 100 sit ups.

You do two.

You get up and go to find food.

exercise8

So, cherished, immobile Listener, there really is only one solution to these heinous daily failures:

Have a sandwich instead.

 

(PS Check out this most excellent advice on how not to become a massive blob of pizza and beer while at college… http://www.thebestcolleges.org/the-best-regimen-for-college-fitness/ )

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288 Comments

Filed under Health and Exercise, Life eh?, The Beauty of Life, Thoughts and Musings

288 responses to “Becky says things about … failed exercise attempts

  1. This reminds me of the intro to a song my husband wrote – it’s a guy yelling
    “It’s too fucking far from the TV to the Refrigerator! “

  2. I had to look exercise up. What an evil word it is. That should be one of those things you can’t say on television.

  3. Right now, I’m wearing my running clothes but have been sitting on the couch with my laptop for the past hour. I started out here to do a quick check of the weather before I took off, and, well, you know, the internet happened…

    I am going to use this post as motivation to drag my ass outside right now. I’m fairly confident that I will be right back here within 5 minutes. Bring it on Expected Failure. Bring it on.

  4. The Non-Attempt is my favorite, Becky. I can do that one right now. Two sit-ups is better than nothing. I personally hate it when I really want to do a great run and then ten minutes in, I say I’m really just not in the mood for this! That is a bummer!

  5. Haha, I knew I’d love this just from reading the title.
    This is so me, so very much me. Especially the non-attempt. Usually, I THINK about exercising, and then I cut to the chase and go straight for the chocolate/cookies/cake. But it’s the THOUGHT that counts, right? 🙂

  6. “exercise”
    It’s a word?
    Really??

  7. You forget the “there are so many better things I could be doing instead of exercising like cleaning out grease traps, shaving a bear, breathing, etc.” reason.

  8. This post was hilarious; however, very true! Whenever I’m exhausted or in a bad mood I never want to exercise, but I force myself too, only to find myself quitting halfway through. Then I go home and stuff my face! It doesn’t happen to often, but when it does, I feel like I failed my exercise. Great post!

  9. The only thing I like better than sitting down is sitting still. You’ll never find this girl wrapped in a foil blanket. I pay a trainer fistfuls of money to make me squat and pull and twist and repeat because gym memberships left me in each scenario you brilliantly outlined. I loathe exercise, but do it so that I can be healthy (trimmer). Shower drawing is hilariously adorable. You are amazing!

  10. Hey.. i am facing the same problem with you!!
    I can’t get up to exercies although i have planned for it

  11. We need to exercise so we can run away from calories! You know, those tiny creatures that live in our wardrobe and sew our clothes a little bit tighter every night!

  12. I LOVE this! Add to this “the failed attempt at portion control!” or “Not eating every cookie in the house!” I use My Fitness Pal to help keep a lid on my eating… I only stay under my calorie goal, like, every other day. Some days I figure, well, I’m already over, might as well TORPEDO that shit!

  13. kellyscott57

    I used to walk/run the annual Butte to Butte here in Eugene,Oregon,, its an annual fun/run/walk on the 4th of july, what I didn’t do is do it for fun, and why not I’m not an experienced runner and there are hundereds of folks every year participating from young and old and kids, So I think have fun when exercising !

  14. I’m impressed you even get running clothes on when you experience the “unexpected failure.” When I come home and sit down expecting to go exercise, I can’t even manage myself into workout clothes. I’m done. Finished. The secret for me is to not go home first. Once I do that, it’s game over.

  15. http://jackdawise.wordpress.com/ nice post, Checkout my blog i think i can related my idead to yours.

  16. Hah! Oh god, I’m pulling the non-attempt RIGHT NOW. Watching Four Weddings and drinking a soda is just so much more comfortable than attempting to use that damn balance ball and falling on my face.

  17. This quote looks brilliant

  18. The two sit-ups as a non-attempt are two more than I do, stop making me look bad.

  19. L. Rowan McKnight

    Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I say it I have to wash my mouth out with chocolate.

  20. I just did a run for the first time in several months. I use the term run loosely, but I did move long enough and exerted myself enough to be sore the next day. The next day wherein I got into a car by myself and had to drive for fourteen hours. Let me just say, no matter your age: never do that. It takes days to not be bent in the shape of the car seat.

  21. I make excuses all day while I’m at work, having a mental battle. nine times out of ten, the excuses win….shame shame on me….

  22. I remember in my younger days I used to run, jump, pump weights and then do it all again! Now, I’ll be lucky if I get a 20 minutes walk on the treadmill. I tell myself that cleaning the house is exercise 😛

  23. Priceless. Love it. Do it everyday just didn’t know how to express it.

  24. Well, keep trying then. I think it’s much easier when the weather is nice anyway. Congratulations for being freshly pressed – great stick drawings.

  25. This is a hoot. The only way I can drag my bum into serious physical activity is to pay for classes and make myself go to them. Then (occasionally) someone says — “You’ve lost weight!” — which is about the only thing that makes me decide to try it again. But exercise is the pits.

  26. My wife talked me into finding a second-hand treadmill on Craigslist. A good one. Since it arrived, I’ve done about 150km on it, at two km a day. That’s not quite long enough to watch an episode of something, but long enough to give my heart palpitations. As a stay-at-home Dad and writer, I probably need it.
    I think my wife’s been on it once.

  27. MikeW

    This cracks me up. A little. I think I know the reason for so much skepticism. Our “industry” too often creates unsustainable approaches set up to fail so that the next approach may be sold. In fact, I’ve written a book to remedy the situation if possible. Come visit my WordPress blog. It’s about to be released within the month!

  28. Love it. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! I enjoy exercise and I know it makes me feel so much better when I do it, but…(insert favourite excuse here).

  29. I’m pretty sure my biggest one was the gallant attempt, closely followed by the expected failure. In fact I’m pretty sure it’s usually the expected failure of the gallant attempt. “Oh yeah, you’re going to go to a gym… where everyone else is in amazing shape and you’re struggling with a 12 minute mile. You won’t last 12 minutes.”

    (The only motivation that has worked for me thus far was when my amazing job started giving people giftcards if they log more than 30 minutes of activity a day for 50 days out of a quarter year. I guess if you PAY me to exercise…)

  30. hahahaha…had me in splits….perhaps the laughter of recognition and guilt 😉
    congratulations on being freshly pressed. (still laughing)

  31. I thought someone had been monitoring my thoughts when I attempt exercise. Now I know they have. There it is in black and white on your blog. Now I’m all found out. Nicely done! Love the drawings!

  32. My problem is I have had to many sandwiches instead!!! How about you?

  33. Thanks for making me chuckle! This post pretty much summed it up. 😀

  34. Ahh. The Pyrrhic victory that is a gym membership.

    The modern world needs a pill that not only burns calories but tricks your body into believing it’s working out. Breaking down muscle fibers, elevating your heart rate, the works. But, the whole time you’re just sitting in front of the television out of breath, sweaty, and sore as shit.

    Now that would be an accomplishment.

  35. I need to get to the part where I put the work out clothes on and then see what category I fall into. It probably involves popcorn with butter and Monarch of the Glen on Netflix.

    Congrats on your FP!

  36. Reblogged this on liliananosike and commented:
    This is totally me sometimes. Trying to be fit is so hard.

  37. I have the same problem with trying to eat healthily! I decided a healthy diet might be achieved by cutting some stuff out on certain days rather than everything naughty at once. I decided this at 9am this morning on the way to a meeting when i scoffed a pile of cookies, And at lunch i ate a massive pile of sandwiches and a unhealthy block of cheese so failed miserably.
    Maybe tomorrow….
    Exercise and diets are an evil waste of time

  38. Yay!!! Becky Freshly Pressed!! Oh, good for you. I’m so thrilled for you. I hope you’re having fun!

  39. I LOVEEE the picture of you driving away, holding the steering wheel. LOL. Made my day. Forreal–I am going to start exercising. I don’t have any ice cream, but I live near a store that sells ice cream. Oh now I’m thinking about ice cream. Hmmm. I’m not going to buy any ice cream. Grabs keys……lol

  40. I keep telling myself I need to get healthier and stuff… But I always end up doing a Non-Attempt. Oh well.

  41. Hilarious…this sounds like me to a T! I spend 3 hours just working myself up to go work out. The other day I was in the gym and one of the trainers overheard me complaining about how hard working out is. He ran over to me and screamed in my ear, “It’s SUPPOSED to be HARD…that’s why they call it WORKING OUT!

  42. I like how the pictures are drawn in a “mouse-in-MS-Paint” fashion. It helps really depict the story instead of inserting another semi-relevant picture from Flickr. Very nice 🙂

  43. I take advantage of a few XBox “trainer” games… Nike+ Kinect, Your Shape, Dance Central 3 (it counts calories and I play vs. my daughter). This is all well and good but adds another version of failure: technical difficulties. When these games work, they are great. But all too often, the sensor doesn’t pick me up, and I end up doing two push ups for every one it counts, or I lose a streak because it didn’t see my foot, etc. Few things drive me nuts more than tech that doesn’t do its job, so I sometimes ragequit in the middle.

    At that point, a sandwich sounds like fine therapy for the frustration. :D. Great post, I can relate.

    • Christ, you don’t need to add technical failure to exercise failure… that’s too many failures for one person to take in a day. Forget the failure, eat the sandwich. Win every time. 🙂

  44. Glad you got F.P.’ed and I had the pleasure of reading this..Loved it! The hardest step towards starting anything; is the very first step. But I’ve lived this part out loud @ Exercising does give you more energy & drive to keep exercising! And the fabulous thing about it is also; there are many ways to slip exercise into our busy schedules. Especially for those of us still holding down an 8 to 5 gig at a desk..Moving around is essential for those of us behind a desk all day. Literally EVERY step we make during the day counts as exercise..So park a little further from every front door you walk through/take the stairs up instead of the elevator/keep your free weights out at home & when you have a free moment(like while watching the boob tube) do repetitions. Leg lunges can also be done while watching the boob tube..and during the day get UP and walk when possible ..instead of sending an email to a coworker. Lunch breaks? Take a stroll through the mall or nearby park…Alot of people jump too deeply into an exercise regime at the gym; and fail. Its hard to keep something UP that seems like a chore..but if one works their way UP to exercising the motivation from the extra energy? Will make you want to hit the gym more or slip exercise in when possible. Final motivation? When you look in the mirror & begin to see the results. Congrats again on a very enjoyable read. Stay UPlifted & blessed

    • Wow thanks for the tips! I do manage to keep active – I do squats whilst brushing my teeth 🙂
      Thank you for reading and commenting!

      • Ooooh I like that tip too! Hadn’t thought of that one..Oh, and I drink a raw green veggie (Kale , which is the most super of super greens) and fruit smoothie that is simple to make..Works wonders for your body! Gives you energy to feel like you could climb tall mountains; due to all of the vitamins and helps to quick firm your body..No lie. Its nasty; I can’t lie. But you get used to the taste

        • That sounds vile…but guess what, I’m going to buy some kale 🙂

          • Lol, when my Dad saw my first batch? He said outright that looks like baby shiiite. And it honestly did; it was the greenest shade of green I’d ever seen in my life. But I ate it! With a spoon no less OMG..problem was it was too thick(duh!) and I’ve since learned to tweak the recipe. Oh! and I just HAD to add an extra bananas and strawberries..otherwise the recipe tasted like straight green grass. My eldest son got the idea to try veggie smoothies from his girl whose working on her PHD in nutrition..and cause of her extensive background was the only reason I tried it. And I’ve been on it ever since for almost 10 months now..The results are priceless

            • You’ve convinced me! Seriously, I am actually going to try it! If it makes me feel good, I’m up for it! Thanks for the tip 🙂

              • I believe you & I promise you trying it will be well worth your while health wise if you stick with it..Just looking at the nutritionist’s picture of the front of the book, the book I got the recipe for the Glowing Green Smoothie from, convinced me I had to try it. She’s no spring chicken but looks amazing! Skin glowing & hair shiny as a brand new penny. I checked the book out 3 times from the library before I bought it..The book is called “The Beauty Detox Solution” by Kimberly Snyder. And though alot of the book leans toward dropping meat (which I can NOT totally DO..I love meat!) theres quite a bit of priceless info in the book. And great recipes..I still do the glowing green smoothie(I tweaked it by adding another cup of water, another banana, and strawberries and I don’t do romaine I do Kale..cause its super loaded with vitamins) at least 4 days a week. I was doing it every day BUT I lost so much weight so fast; I was on my way to looking unhealthy. And I never want to look anorexic. Anyways its an excellent book & was a best seller for ages…

  45. I came here because the picture with the arrows reminds me of an old home gym commercial. It featured arrows pointing to “the number you call” and “what you’ll look like when you’re done”. In a brief moment of honesty, the commercial featured “what you’ll feel like when you’re done” – an old man yawning.

  46. You are a brilliant writer and I am so glad to have run across you on freshly pressed. Will you check out my web site, too? http://theantileslie.wordpress.com

  47. Thank you so much! Glad I made you smile!

  48. I’m a victim of every one of those failures. Where is the motivation??

  49. This is hilarious–and in my case, true! Love the diagrams. 🙂

  50. Such painfully true perspective! With every additional scentence I wanted to slap you a high- five. Great Piece..I will be back again 🙂

  51. Reblogged this on Re'gine Report and commented:
    As I sit in my apartment on yet another morning procrastinating my workout..I ran into what seemed like a transcript of this exact moment! It was almost as if there were cameras in my apartment and I was on the Truman Show…eerie. Thought I would share this great Press from Becky Say Things Enjoy!

  52. Minty

    Oh so true! I can relate! so glad this got to FP.

  53. Wow I loved this so much. I could identify myself and a lot of other people in the different scenarios and it made me laugh…especially the diagrams. Amazing!!!

  54. Hah what a great post, and so true!

  55. 30 minutes…hummmm? And I though I was doing good to get that mile ran in 12 and a half minutes and get back home. Gone approximately 30 minutes because feeding the turtles on the bridge after the run takes a while…does that even count?

  56. Every repressed exercise attempt (or non-attempt) memory came rushing back while reading this post. I was thinking of starting exercising again but you’ve saved me so much time, money and effort by writing this. Thank you.

  57. Aww, the stick people look sad. LOL! Loved this post.

    Mmm, ice cream… Hey, doesn’t walking across the supermarket and back count as exercise?

    I’ll be having surgery on my ankle soon and I find myself reflecting on how I won’t be able to exercise. 😦

  58. I have TOTALLY splashed water on myself to make it look like a broke a sweat! I will say though, I think most people at the gym don’t judge you. I like to think they’re all similarly worried about their failures. And we’re all failing together.

  59. girl on a shoe string

    thank the sweet lord i found your blog. I think the voices in our heads might be chums… the kind of chums that eat nutella out of the jar and then tell each other they’re beautiful (although actually you look like you’ve just rimmed a rhino) Will keep reading, for sure X

  60. This is hilarious! Don’t get too down on yourself, though. In the big scheme of things, negative self talk may be just as unhealthy as not exercising… at least that’s what I tell my self 🙂

  61. Well… I liked this post, but in reality…I LOVE this post! I laughed so much. mostly because I have experienced ALL of these attempts and failures. and because as of right at this very moment…I am experiencing the Non- attempt!! …Thanks for the laughs today!!

  62. Pingback: Day One Hundred Forty-one | walking the non-dog

  63. Been on vacation for the past five sunny days. My running shoes have been sitting on the floor near the door used to frequently leave the house. I believe they have eyes that stare at me as I leave in flip flops to pick up take-out food or run other errands. There are periods when I am focused on my goal to exercise. I fantasize about how well a dress will look on me if I could only loose those hip hugging fifteen pounds.That’s were I am now in fantasy land. I need to save myself from myself.

  64. Awesome post! I loved it, every moment of it! And the cartoons were a treat! 🙂

  65. Brilliant. I am familiar with really not being arsed on occasion.

  66. This was great thanks for writing

  67. I laugh because it’s true. Which makes it wonderful. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed, and for getting such a response! Here’s me and exercise: I go to bed ridiculously pumped to work out, with a plan and motivation keeping me awake. And then I wake up, realize I’m insanely tired and vow the next day will be different. Sigh. But I keep trying! It counts …

  68. Great post.
    After a couple of strokes and a heart-attack, the most exercise I get is chasing my grandchildren and destroying one of my guitars on a daily basis.

  69. eleazerfaith

    I’m guilty of this too X_X
    mostimes… I make diet and workout plans e.g monthly challenge but yet end up half way 😥
    Nice article Becky 🙂

  70. Reblogged this on Actuaria's Blog and commented:
    Need I say more? 😉

  71. Congrats on getting Freshly Pressed, Becky! It’s much deserved. 😀

    This resonated with me, mostly because I’m going through an exercise phase right now. At first I did not even try because I love food too much and was in no way prepared to cut down and exercise, then I was expecting failure, so I didn’t bother a lot (not even standing in front of the mirror and trying to disgust myself worked!), then I bought a treadmill and the guilt of letting my money go to waste finally got me running, haha.

    • Thanks dude!
      Ah, guilt exercise! It’s a powerful thing, and one I might try. Maybe if I splash out all my life savings on a really, REALLY good treadmill, I might actually use it once in a while…? 😉

  72. Every time I quit I’ll just spend more time inventing my machine that turns other people’s exercise into fat loss for me…. it will all pay off one day…

  73. Reblogged this on mylifemestartingme and commented:
    Basically my life,I

  74. Very nice blog! I can totally relate with lots of your ideas. Keep up the good job! 😀

  75. I’m so glad there are finally names for these conditions. I feel validated.

    • Yeah, I felt pretty validated after discovering these conditions were actually genuine, and not just flimsy excuses floating around my head. They are TOTALLY real. Suffering from them is almost as serious as suffering from something much more serious.
      🙂

  76. Reblogged this on Who Is Ambrose?! and commented:
    This is such truth I’d like to thank this blogger for putting this into the universe.

  77. Hey Anybody,

    Is it just me or is there a special Failed Exercise Attempt category? The category of “Dumbfounded Realization” When you suddenly try to bike up the same low grade infinity hill and your heart pounds up a crazy storm like you haven’t exercised in 3 weeks, 2 days, 1 hour and 53 minutes. At the top of the hill, pulled over in a dirty ashphalt patch that isn’t sidewalk nor parking lot and heaving for breath in a nonchalant way, because all the cars behind you are driving by looking at you stifling the deep gasps.
    Then you remember you actually haven’t exercised for a couple weeks (but it feels like more)…. but you justified it because you were still moving, you had to dog sit that crazy energy hound and walk (be dragged) 8 hours a day, and your yoga course ended but it wasn’t warm enough for swimming… omg..I Haven’t Exercised! and the realization dawns. And it starts to click why your jeans have stopped zipping up all the way.
    If that’s not a category, then it’s just me. And it definitely happened today.

  78. Reblogged this on The Brio and commented:
    This is pretty much how I’m feeling at this point. I just had a brownie with ice cream from Applebees a few hours ago…so much for the squat challenge. Plus, my boyfriend just told me I’m not serious about my workouts. Failure is in the air. 😦 Sad face

  79. i know what you mean its nice to know im not the only one xx

  80. Pingback: Becky says things about … saying hello | Becky Says Things

  81. oh i laughed out loud and cried a little as well….this was a perfect description of my life ;-D xo

  82. Hahaha I really enjoyed how much I can relate to these exercise fails! Especially when i feel all those eyes judging me in the gym or those 100 sit-ups I should be doing….I’ve tried so many tactics to get on an exercise regimen because I am in love with the feeling after a great workout. I’ve tried P90X, but I usually end up not being able to get out of bed the day after…oh well, maybe one day we will learn to avoid the feeling of failure when it comes to exercise!! Until then, here’s to sandwiches!

  83. Reblogged this on Sign Of Skinny and commented:
    I can relate.

  84. hahhahahhahhaha…good one…and so so so very true 🙂

  85. That is one heavy looking container of ice cream in your picture. A great lifting opportunity. Imagine the benefits if you had two of them!

  86. itsnotcoco

    wow this blog post hit me. i was debating earlier today if i should start with my long overdue workout (and that is just me using my jumping rope and doing some pilates) but then again, i had to postpone it for the nth time!

    • Using a jump rope and pilates is better than sitting on your bum eating ice cream… which is what I’ve been doing a lot of recently…. 😉

      • itsnotcoco

        well that made me feel better! but no, we should definitely be inspired. what i did was to take a photo of my body and like do a weekly photo just to see results based on photos.

        right now, i’m having a hard time ditching the “bad” foods that i’m eating *sigh* but hey, yesterday i did the jump rope and the pilates. tonight i’ll switch pilates with yoga 😀

        let’s be fit! love your posts xx

  87. I’m too doggedly determined to keep going with my exercise to quit — but I love these examples. And I am certain not ashamed to say that they have all been in my mind at some point along the way. Nice stickmen!

  88. Superb! Loved the drawings, especially the one about the AWOL sit ups. I’m inspired – thank you 🙂

  89. ROFL !! Too bloody good !!

  90. So true! I can relate most to the “Expected Failure.” Great post!

  91. Qwetu Elements.

    I love all the cartoons…Sarcastic but so true..i’m embarrassed coz that’s basically me in those cartoons.

  92. cathmor0

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    This post is so hilariously accurate.
    The ice cream in front of YouTube. The expected to fail so it wasn’t REALLY a fail, the smugness of getting sweaty after exercising, the ‘just can’t be arsed’ unexpected failure. EVERYTHING.
    How did you read my mind?!
    I’d also add for beginners in exercise, don’t want to let my pride down and show I’m struggling to keep this pace up so I’ll stop nice and early to the list of reasons for.. hm, what category would that reason go?? beginner’s non attempt?
    lol, and now I’ve gotta go force my butt off out of the house door and do my evening jogging attempt. hahahahaha, I’m gonna be thinking of this post as I run and giggle to myself so the kids in the skatepark think I’m one crazy fish of an asian.

  93. cathmor0

    Reblogged this on who cares.

  94. Thanks for the laugh! Have experienced all of those ‘failed attempts’ at some point!

  95. I fell off a Swiss Ball. Enough said.

  96. LOL story of my life.

  97. Mine is the “You put on your exercise clothes first thing in the morning You think you’ll check Facebook real quick before hand. You realize it’s now time to make dinner.”

  98. Gosh! This really made me laugh out loud at home by myself! Thanks.. haha I needed that!

  99. Having an attachment to routine helps…Try a workout buddy. They need you, and if you feel unmotivated they’ll drag you there anyway. ;D

  100. Reblogged this on Lisa B. DuBois – Writer and commented:
    LOL! This is hilarious! Don’t get me wrong, the pursuit of health and fitness is a VERY serious thing (smirk, wink) but this tongue and cheek post from “Becky Says Things” is a riot. Read on…

  101. This is hilarious, and so true. I am doing the Michelle Bridges 12WBT (it’s an online Aussie weight loss program) and she says that motivation is a myth – it’s all about consistency. I find the best way to exercise is to get up at the same time every morning and just do it. Otherwise, the day gets in the way and you have too much time to make excuses. Good luck! Bec x

  102. Girlbehindthescissors

    I’m counting the lolling I just did to this article as exercise.

    I think I have currently done all of these today.

  103. Pingback: Check out this blog post….. | girlbehindthescissors

  104. OMG! This was just too funny! I swear my cheeks froze from like the second sentence on!! The did droop back down when I had to scroll for literally 5 minutes before finding the little comment square-boxy-thing…
    Oh well, was worth it! I’m definitely passing this post on to my brother, we’re both reeeeally good at making excuses….
    Thanks a bunch!

  105. ROFLMAO!!! Your version is my version. Except that I do my exercises in the morning and I am not a morning person. So I wake up, dress up, peep outside the window and go like, omg the weather looks so bad! I cant run in this weather I might catch pneumonia!
    Or, I will wake up, sit on my bed and go like, there is a mad man outside there and this must be the day he is planning to kill me, thank you lord for making me realize that, *hits snooze button*.
    OR, I will somehow manage to get outside and do a ten minute jog repeating those reaffirmations that i am not a failure but then i will see another very unfit person and go like, surely i am doing a complete mockery to this other person, and off i go home! Straight to the fridge.
    You are so effing funny its crazy!! Thank you for making me pee on my pjs laughing 😀

    • Haha, I love your excuses. I must remember to use the ‘mad man outside definitely planning to kill me today’ excuse – that’s a brilliant one 🙂
      Glad I made you pee on your PJs 😉 THanks for reading!

  106. Love this post and love the artwork!

  107. Love the drawings. Just wanted to share my hiliarious Ecuadorian adventure with a fellow writer. Hope you enjoy mine as much as I have enjoyed yours.
    http://www.atruetalltale.wordpress.com

  108. haha, I just got back from one of those uninspired, boring jogs that I was hoping would burn off my attitude but it didn’t. Came home and opened the lap top to read about exercise instead of actually doing it.

  109. Fun read and nice drawings, too! I swear I won’t try to self-assess on which one I can relate to. Yes, all four 😀

  110. Pingback: Ugh, exercise… | OneHeart2Give

  111. Oh my, I feel you! I think I just lack motivation! Glad I am not the only one with troubles about exercising! Ha! Fun post!

  112. Reblogged this on Running to finish and commented:
    This Post just cracked me up!

  113. Alison

    Absolutely loved this. I was about to write a post saying just this, but you did it so well that I’m just going to sit back and feel happy that someone else feels the same way that I do. So I guess that’s… unexpected failure? 🙂

  114. This is utterly hilarious Becky Says Things! I was just on my way to the gym when I read thi… No I wasn’t, but I was thinking about working ou… No I wasn’t, But I was about to get up and go to the kitchen for a snack, but then I realized there were stairs in the way. Awesome post regardless of my poor intentions to have good intentions!
    It’d be great if you could check out my post on weird tips for a better workout. I personally found it strangely motivating.
    http://dydityet.wordpress.com/2013/06/19/6-weird-tips-for-a-better-more-effective-workout-as-described-by-my-lazy-butt/

    Cheers,
    Jon

  115. Pingback: Blog Boost: Becky Says Things | Life Accordinglee

  116. gettingontheladder

    Made me snort at work sooo accurately funny!!

  117. How about the non-non attempt. I set my alarm and as soon as I hit snooze more than twice I know the battle is over. I’ll keep telling myself I’ll spring out of bed and hit the routine knowing very well that it’s not going down like that.

  118. Pingback: Becky says things about … a new year | Becky Says Things

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