For those of you who witnessed the tragic and gratuitous mental breakdown of my friend and colleague Stickman in the previous blogpost, I’m sure you would like an update on his recovery.
Firstly, Stickman is not a well stick. After his very public emotional collapse, he ran amok round Microsoft Paint, and eventually broke into Microsoft Word, where he proceeded to hang from the ruler bar whilst swigging from a bottle of cheap Microsoft wine.
Inevitably, he then became violent and took his anger out on poor old Word Art, who couldn’t do anything about it being that it’s essentially a word generator and has no self defense skills, so Stickman pretty much beat the crap out of it.
Finally, after somehow getting into Google Images and being incredibly immature with a photograph of a sausage
Stickman finally crawled back to Microsoft Paint, where he became suicidal and rubbed out his own head.
It was at this point that I decided to intervene. I would have done so sooner, had Stickman not slyly changed my password while I’d nipped to the toilet so I couldn’t actually get into my laptop (after some guesswork as to what he might have changed it to, I finally hit the jackpot with ‘iwanttodie12’).
When I finally got hold of him and carefully drew his head back on, I decided to put him away for a little while to give him time to think about what he’s done and to try and gain some clarity over his increasingly nebulous mental condition. However, when he got wind of the fact that I’d recruited a couple of text smiley faces to help me with my blog, he broke out of Microsoft Paint and frankly behaved abominably.
So I have had him sectioned.
He is currently in a mental institute for deranged stickmen and from what I gather he is making a slow but positive recovery. He has taken up stick ballet and has even won the part of the White Swan in Swan Lake, which I’m sure we’re all very pleased about.
His road to recovery has not been without setback, unfortunately: apparently just two days ago he somehow got hold of the eraser tool and was caught trying to rub out his own foot, but luckily he was apprehended just in time and locked in a padded stick cell for 40 hours for his own protection.
We very much hope that Stickman will be back in action soon, and that he will get over the deep-rooted anguish about his childhood, but until then we wish him all the very best with his recovery, and I would ask you not to approach him or draw anything too near him, because he is volatile and a little bit dangerous at the moment, so it’s for the best if we all just leave him alone to think about the tragic state of his life at present. Thank you.
- Becky says things about … a conversation with Stick Man (beckysaysthings.wordpress.com)