We are the smartphoners.
We are the texters
the sexters.
We are the emailers
the web sailors.
We are the tweeters
the non-speakers
the digi-savvy techno geek-ers.
We are the twiddlers
the fiddlers
the bent headers
the years of reconstructive surgery on the back of the neck-ers.
We are the music players
the ‘I can watch YouTube ’til my hair goes grey’-ers.
We are the eyes downers
the frowners
the never look arounders.
We are the silent commuters
the human computers
the unsee-ers
the bound to walk into a tree-ers.
We are the Mail Onliners.
We are the Instagramers
the Angry Birdsers
the 0nline bankers
the eyes are blank-ers
the spying over each other’s shoulders
the ‘He’s got a better one than me’-ers.
The enemies of couples who like to do it in public-ers.
We are the gamers
the freeze framers
the ‘I’d rather die than lose my phone’-ers.
We are the non-response-ers
the nonchalance-ers
the need never be bored at a bus stop again-ers.
We are the grunters
the absent nodders
the ‘To separate me from my phone would take an act of God’-ers.
We are the smartphoners
the ring toners
the everyone’s a clone-ers.
We are the shufflers
the queuers
the tunnel vision viewers
the waiting for a train is actually quite fun-ers
the conversation shunners
the never see the sun-ers
the most important body part is my thumb-ers.
We are the smartphone generation.
BECKY SAYS THINGS 
Reblogged this on Susan Daniels Poetry and commented:
This is too damned funny!
I love this. It’s disturbingly accurate and very funny. ‘never see the sun-ers’…
Thank you!
Yes! I live with one of these (my daughter) and I am forcing her to only live electronically for an hour a day.
Hah, good luck with that! 🙂
It has not yet to blood being spilled…yet…
Brilliant!
Sent from my iPhone 5
Thank you 🙂
This was different but still great-ers! And as you can see, I now want to end things in -ers. Oh well-ers. Good stuff, Becky. 😀
I know, it’s quite addictivers.
Thanks, Lily 🙂
Clever and spot on!
Yup. That’s about it!
🙂
This is hilarious – my favorite part – other than the true-to-life descriptions and rhymes – is the man making love – pointless? Ha. k.
Thank you 😉
Brilliant, absolutely brilliant and it’s going on my Facebook page right. now.
Ah, thank you! 🙂
Absolutely fantastic Becky. I’ve had urges to write something about mobiles but could never have framed (or illustrated it) so perfectly – Many chuckles 😉
Thank you! I really appreciate that, and I’m glad I made you chuckle 🙂
Holy tree-bludgeoning, this was fantastic.
Holy hamster-breeding, thanks!
You should think about doing this writing thing for a living !
Cheers 🙂
I’m one of the zero % batteryers
The try to check our email and we’ve got no signallers
🙂
Hah, you should have written the poem! 😉
Can they just give you a Pulitzer Prize already? Brilliant as usual!
Well I keep asking but the bastards aren’t very forthcoming.
Thank you 🙂
Very clever. One of your best.
Thank you, I’ve learnt from the best! 🙂
I would love to see this animated, using your army of smartphone-wielding stick figures. Super job on a hilarious and well thought-out post!
God, can you imagine the majesty of animated stick figures? Amazing. PS Thank you!
This was immense, I’m going to reblog this because it needs to be seen by everyone!
Legend, thank you dude 🙂
Reblogged this on Evolution Of Insanity and commented:
So true! Becky sums up pretty much the entire population (of the west at least)
If you’re not careful Missy, you’re gonna get ANOTHER award. Then how are you gonna be able to display them all? You’re gonna need another whole freakin’ Blog to put them all in. Great creative write. LOVED IT!!!!
Muah!!!
Sooz
Cheers dude! I’ll just have to drink lots of gin to celebrate! 😉
Now that was some serious funny! I am laughing and ashamed.
Oh don’t be ashamed! It’s fine to laugh. Laughing makes the world go round 🙂
Post perfection. If this doesn’t get Freshly Pressed, I don’t know what to think of this crazy world we live in. Oh, and about that world…I don’t own a smart phone. Or hardly even a cell phone. So I can only relate as the outsider looking in (but not the one having sex in public). And this was fantastic.
Thank you so much! I don’t know what it takes to get Freshly Pressed in this day and age – an act of God, one imagines! Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! 🙂
“…the online bankers
the eyes are blanchers…”
Great stuff. Angie’s right — this should be Freshly Pressed, which is why it probably won’t be.
Blanchers? Where did that come from?
Thank you! I have no idea how to get Freshly Pressed…. It’s like trying to get into the Pentagon, isn’t it?
Thank you for reading 🙂
Nothing to say that hasn’t been said…but lovely! I loved it. Becky says things…she certainly does… 🙂
Thank you! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂