Becky says things about … things YOU want me to say


Darling listeners, it’s happened.

After over two years of saying things about things and other things, the unthinkable has occurred.



Yes, I admit it. Right now, there is more action in a home for elderly tortoises than there is in my brain.


I have decided, rather than say half-hearted things to you about my elbows or how I feel about Tuesdays, to ask YOU what I should say.

I’ve toyed with this idea for a few months, but feared it was rather self-indulgent – after all, it rather assumes that you CARE what I say – but to hell with it, I think it sounds like fun, and I like a challenge.*

(*I actually don’t, I hate a challenge. Failure is so, so real.)

So, my most cherished, adored, heavenly listeners, I would like you to tell me


– yes, all right, tell me and Stickman, what you would like me to say things about. Or, if you are a grammar fiend, about what you would like me to say. The choice is yours. The result should hopefully be the same.

COME ON, TELL ME! ANYTHING!! Knock me out with your suggestions! Let me put Stickman in awkward and embarrassing positions!



Shut up Stickman, you’d be nothing without me. Literally nothing. You exist because I own a mouse and a steady hand.

Every week for an indeterminate number of weeks I shall endeavour to use one of your suggestions and say things about what you want me to say, with, obviously, a lovely link to your excellent blog.

HOW BRILLIANT DOES THAT SOUND??? I don’t know why I didn’t do this before!*

(*I know exactly why I didn’t do this before: because there is a very real chance that a) I won’t be able to say ANYTHING about ANY of your suggestions, and b) no one will make a single ruddy suggestion in the first place, but I shall neatly side-step these problems by just remaining very, very silent for 6 months and then bounce back as if nothing has happened and we shall never speak of it again.)




Let’s DO this thing.




113 thoughts on “Becky says things about … things YOU want me to say

    1. Pinocchio Rex. Dear God.
      KITTENS. There’s a good one. Unfortunately, my loathing for kittens and cats in general would make for a rather ranty post……… EXCELLENT IDEA!!:)

  1. We are quickly approaching my favorite every four year event! World Cup! So how about “Becky Says things about Sport”. It could be your total lack of love for it, or you love…you choose. Or what about the Royal’s bringing up baby?

    1. Second suggestion for sport – World Cup is a good one – it would be a totally unsporting post about sport and how it pisses me off that I can’t get into a pub without a load of football hooligans flinging pints around …. Stickman would make such a good football hooligan.

  2. Becky! I am so glad you’re back! And this is brilliant asking for ideas! Some of my favourite pieces you’ve done are commuting, weather, lost in translation, Royal Rascal, Royal Baby welcome. I guess this doesn’t give you specific new ideas, but I’d sure like to see some more of your takes on what it is to Live in Britain, Britain v. America pieces, Royal baby always an easy subject (how about difference between a royal baby and other babies), Harry another easy subject as he’s always into something! How about how the royals are always trying to show how they’ve ‘cut corners’ or downsized but what it means to actually cut corners in REAL LIFE? What about something on finding a good meal in London or how tourists deal with London or affect people that actually LIVE in London? Oh, so many ways to go…….

    1. Wow, a BARRAGE of ideas!! Tourists affecting Londoners is a good one … I know we definitely get frustrated with them as they get lost on the Underground and can’t work out how the tube map works…. 😉
      Definitely food for thought there, thank you 🙂

  3. Pleeeeeease don’t write about the latest royal! You could however write about why people who have pathetic crafty stitchy blogs would have your blog in their reader and look forward to reading every post from you and stickman!

              1. I totally agree with Twindaddy on this one, and you could do a subtheme on how to cope with being dumped (or tactics for dumping another?) ?? Stickman must have some advice that is profoundly useful (and funny)

                1. Well, on this subject (and thank you for the lovely comment below) – I have been within 4 minutes of being dumped, but to avoid the situation I dumped him first 🙂 Good idea…

  4. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a bit to say about guns and gun ownership or gun control or both. And I’m betting Stickman wouldn’t mind saying some things about guns, either. In fact, he might even want to.

    1. Oh God, well I know Stickman’s take on it. He loves a gun. I can’t get it off him. Murderous, he is, murderous.
      It’s not a subject I know much about – it doesn’t come up much in England! But it’s an interesting one… I’ll definitely think about, thank you 🙂

      1. I rather suspected as much, but thought I would suggest it regardless. I think it’s got potential even if you’re not particularly well-informed. Take an ambiguous stance and let Stickman do the rest!

  5. I would adore it if you and Stickman talked about how romantic comedies can completely ruin your perspective on relationships. Not that you can’t enjoy “Friends With Benefits” and also enjoy, erm, friends with benefits … but where’s my very own flash mob musical montage, damn it ?!? Justin, I’m still waiting!! 😉 xoxox

    1. Excellent idea, Amb. Where IS the flash mob musical montage?? I WANT ONE ALL THE TIME.
      Basically, if you go by romantic comedies, you’ll meet someone, hate them initially, get to like them, fall in love with them, realise something disappointing about them, go off them completely, but then something momentous will happen and you’ll realise they’re the love of your life and there’ll be a hilarious wedding with a dog carrying the ring in a pouch that refuses to walk in a straight line up the aisle and oh how everyone laugh and you’ll smilingly kiss your new husband against an Avril Lavigne song.

  6. Hair! When you have it its never right. Too much, too little, too brown / blond / ginger…too straight frizzy curly, and invariably in the wrong place. What do you say Becky?

    1. Good one. I have had a hair disaster just today. Wanted to go for the sexy-wavy-beachy look, ended up with the atrocious-80s-perm look. There’s definitely material in that 🙂

  7. Cake.

    Why is chocolate cake never as good as it looks?

    And why have I suddenly become obsessed with a nice cream scone as I’ve got older?

    And how difficult is it to find a proper cake shop, with decent cake *and* hot chocolate in it? With doilies.

    And what is it with doilies? They used to be everywhere. No home was complete without a packet of doilies somewhere – usually to be cut up and used as a dress for a peg doll. Where have they gone? And what happened to the people that made them?

    And why do people always start interesting conversations *just* before you have to get off the train? Or do they only seem interesting *because* you have to get off?

    1. Cake is an excellent idea. And I TOTALLY agree with the chocolate cake never being as good as it looks – that is SO disappointing!!
      I could definitely get some mileage out of doilies. You’re right – where did they go? There is a worldwide doily shortage occurring and NO ONE’S EVEN NOTICED!!!

  8. Oh, and getting a bra fitted. Or trying to buy a bra/bikini that actually, you know, *DOES* something – rather than leaving your boobs round your waist or wedged under your armpits.

    Would love to see Stickman talk about *that.*


  9. The importance of fabulous shoes? A five year goal? Why Starbucks is dreadful? Being a bridesmaid? An unexpected, awesome favor wrought by or delivered to you?

      1. Plus, ordering there makes everyone sound like an asshole.

        But how can there ever be an end of Things to Say? Religion! Atheism! Long hair or short? Bosch or Miele?

        Good luck!

  10. I have a crafty stitchy blog kind of. Well it’s a resurrect my downtrodden, neglected and skanky office blog actually which nobody reads only me to keep me motivated in my upward struggle of shifting years of dust and decay. But……….that doesn’t mean I’m sad and pathetic crunchnrustle. I read your blog Becky cos it cheers me up no end, in fact it makes me laugh so much I cry. Even people who have to seriously tidy up their office need to laugh once in a while.

    Ummm, could you write about shops and how they decide what we should buy instead of us deciding what we buy? Like why do they, after all these years still insist on putting those nightmare scratchy labels in clothes so that you want to rip off your clothes in the middle of the street, why do manufacturers of shampoos sooner or later decide that it’s just not cool to put the word “dandruff” on their shampoo, when you absolutely loved it and it was the only product that stopped you scratching your head like a crazy woman but still left a shine on your hair. Why does a certain discounter supermarket decide to stop selling yummy chocolate digestives that they’ve been selling since they opened in this country and why, after I discover their gorgeous casserole sauce mixes have they decided – “y’know what? You like those sauces, yeah? Well tough cos we’re not selling them any more”. kind of thing.

    1. THIS IS AN EXCELLENT IDEA. I am CONSTANTLY fuming at the fashion world for DECIDING what we wear. Like this summer’s fashion of really loud geometric patterns and ridiculous clashing colours. I DON’T WANT TO WEAR ANY OF THAT BUT DO I HAVE A CHOICE??? Apparently not. This is a very good idea, thank you 🙂
      Thank you for your lovely comment – and I’ve been on your crafty stitchy blog and I love your crafty stitchiness x

  11. Who was the first person you fell out with at primary school? Don’t know why I thought of that. Relationships are odd though, and as adults we think children’s viewpoints are funny, even when a child is being utterly serious.

  12. The media obsession with Photoshop (did you know Prince George was photoshopped to have rosier cheeks?). The environment (and the stupid reactions to it of governments around the world- who doesn’t like a post explaining exactly why politicians are idiots) and animals- everyone loves some kind of animal

  13. Say things about film, what your favorite one is and go into detail about why it’s your favorite. Mention the aspects of camera angles, director style, narrative within the film and their dialogue/monologue, or lack thereof. Talk about their affect and how it unleashes a sense of reaction from the viewer. Draw a scene in basic form using stickman to act out your favorite parts of the film. Talk about your favorite director and why he/she is your favorite. Employ what your opinion is on the story and the plot. Suggest a film of your own that you think should be film worthy. Also, are the Academy Awards necessary in the sense that films should be recognized as such?

  14. food. and drink, alcohol is good. Chocolate cake is lovely, but you can also write about savory fare. And did I mention cocktails? I can even provide recipes. On that subject, when stick writes a cookbook, I hope you shall call upon me to edit.

    1. Alcohol is an excellent one. Maybe a guide to alcohol…and the effects different drinks have… Stick’s working on his autobiography at the moment – the self-indulgent little mite – so not sure he has time for cookbooks…

  15. I’m sure you would have plenty to say about people’s constant misuse of the English language and grammar. That’s always fun!

  16. Hmm…considering I don’t know what to say on my own blog, I’m kind of at a loss here. BUT I see tons of awesome suggestions already, so I’ll just pretend one of them was my idea.

    You can rant about something, anything, and I guarantee I’ll enjoy it. I love rants in general.

  17. Hi Becky! I’ve missed you. I’ve no excuse. I was meaning to get on over here. Now, I’m surprised you’ve run out of things to say. NOT!! You’re putting us on. In any case, you have a lot of great suggestions. I don’t think you have this one though. I would like to hear all about Stickman’s backstory, like how did you meet, his past relationships, his favorite food, hat, outfit!! Oh, I’m Stickman’s biggest fan. Please say yes!! Or, another thought… You could join the blog hop and write about your writing process. Interested? Let me know! Love you. xoxo

    1. Stickman’s favourite hat, eh? Good idea. He does have a lot of hats, and he looks annoyingly good in all of them, especially his pirate hat. Thanks Amy, I’ll think about that one 🙂
      You haven’t misssed anything by not coming over here, I’ve been quiet recently and haven’t even been to anyone else’s blogs until the last couple of days! Terrible blogger alert!x

  18. Please, please – say it ain’t so! Becky, and equally Stickman, when I stumbled upon your existence, you roused me out of a survival mode of living by teaching me to laugh uproariously again! If you chose to ramble on about dust bunnies, I would read. I have missed you dreadfully and have contented myself with reading every old post, but it’s just not the same. Sounds as if you need a good holiday and perhaps some quality pampering. Much love from over the pond, your reader

    1. Hahahaha dust bunnies. That would make an excellent post.
      Thank you for that lovely comment, that’s so nice to hear 🙂 I promise I will be a better blogger and say things to hopefully make you laugh uproariously again 🙂

  19. I’m so happy to see your post in my mailbox. It brightens up my day. And I think this is an excellent idea by the way.

    I would like to know what’s stickman’s thought on the music of today? (And your opinion would be welcome too). For you get some really shit songs like “Selfie” and “Gangham Style” and “What does the Fox say”.
    Gawd, how I miss the eighties…

    Then there the constant annoyance of reality TV…

    1. What a lovely comment, thank you mate 🙂
      Good idea about music. Stickman’s quite into garage music circa 1998, so maybe he could throw some shapes and let us know his thoughts…
      Reality TV is a very, very interesting idea…

  20. “celebrity” “news” neither celebrity’s nor news. Or when they mess around with tv shows and change them when they were perfectly fine in the first place. Or men on tv with horrid over-dyed hair.

  21. Blogging is self-indulgent by its very nature. You’re afraid to dip your toe in but, I assure you, you’re already soaking wet. Okay, I’ll play along. Anything to get you to post more frequently.

    Why are you glad you’re a girl? Why do you wish you were a boy?

    Can money actually buy happiness or is the supposition that it CAN’T only put forth be people who don’t have any in order to placate themselves?

    Please explain to people why casinos are so bloody AWESOME.

    More later but my battery is on a fast fade…

  22. I second the idea of comparisons between the UK and the US, as long as it stays light-hearted and friendly. No pisstakes, please, as I find that just discouraging.

      1. As I’ve said before, since I play Runescape, I’ve been reminded of the differences many, many times. It’s led to some interesting discussions, that’s for sure.

  23. How about the issue of the media reporting CONSTANTLY about what women look like and then they condemn it! On the one hand they feature photoshopped pics to make their subjects look younger and more glamorous than they are and then they highlight every little bit of cellulite and flab they can find. etc. etc.

  24. Well, when I saw how many comments there were already my heart sank – you’d be bored of reading by the time you get down here! Nevertheless – perhaps something about England….aimed at those readers who are not living there…but who would like to live or visit. My mother, taking advantage of my four year old’s obsession with using every toilet we stumbled upon, once wrote a short segment on our area to tour “with the toilet adventurer”….not that I am suggesting in any way that you would be obsessed with touring the UK via it’s public conveniences BUT there could be some kooky things people can be told to break down those sterotypical images of all buses being red double deckers, all taxis being vintage cars…all villages being completely stuck in the era of Heartbeat….if you see my point lol Just don’t ruin my dreams of one day visiting a tea room (they DO exist, they must!).

    1. I never get bored with reading comments from my splendid listeners! 🙂
      I TOTALLY have been thinking about doing a toilet guide to the UK!! I don’t think there’s a public convenience in this country that I haven’t used.
      Excellent ideas about a blog promoting England to others… And tea rooms most definitely do exist. I promise. They are rife. Tea, shortbread, bowls of sugar, carnations in a vase, doilies, sandwiches, old ladies, Victoria sponge. You will not be disappointed 😉

  25. Your opinion on video games?
    How much the internet has ruined your life?
    Convincing us to vote for you and Stickman in the upcoming Ruler of the World elections?
    An epic speech you’d make to your army before a battle (I’m thinking Aragorn here)?

  26. The suggestion of Romantic Comedies made me think of picnics as a topic, and no sooner had I thought of picnics (and while I was fidgeting with my bra strap), I scrolled by the bee and calligraphy suggestion. Amazing. Such great minds, all thinking alike, yes? ;^p Anyway, you’ve got enough here now to do a post on blogging prompts.

    1. I am fiddling with my bra strap as we speak!! It’s just so damn TIGHT!!
      Picnics is an excellent one, especially as summer is approaching. I loved the bee and calligraphy suggestion. My listeners have excellent brains 🙂

  27. Becky, I’m an American and I would love to hear you say things about buttys… butties? (snort laugh… it’s sandwiches!) Worcestershire sauce (worchestersheyer? worshteshur?!) encyclopaedia, manoeuvre? (Good grief, how many vowels do you people need?) and bicycles and women who wear high heels to work (blech!) and people who wear leggings instead of real pants ?! and bullies when you are a kid and doughnuts, oreos, cake, and especially dijon mustard! (my favorite! I’ve discovered that it’s very important to add mustard to tuna…) and third grade teachers and horrible makeup/moles/acne/hairstyles/nosehair/bizarre mustaches through the ages.
    Say things about entirely too loud conversations in the next bathroom stall over, and Dr. Suess and pickled pig parts and haggis. I’ve heard you can get vegetarian haggis? Made with oatmeal?!
    Oh, and I’m sure you’ve got a great deal of hilarious things to say about Disney…. or golfing, or documentaries… and McDonalds; and movie stars and popcorn and going to the laundromat and growing up with siblings… or without siblings (do you have siblings? We don’t know much about your family.. except your mother’s birthday cake…)
    Say things about dating, and texting someone before dating, and awkward people who want to date you because you said something nice to them one time and how do you break to them gently that you would rather be an old maid than date them?…
    Say things about whale watching, or wasps or elephants or people who own poodles. Say things about people who own pink poodles. Or scented trash bags. Or owning chickens. Say things about gardening, or fishing or crochet. Tell us about your awkward cousin/coworker/neighbor with a glass eye, or dishwashers or laundry detergent.
    Or don’t say any of that, because I’m sure that since writing this post and even before reading a single comment, you thought of something else to say. It’s what would’ve happened to me 🙂

    1. Ruddy heck, I have been frantically scribbling things down whilst reading your suggestions!! I’ve got LOADS of ideas now! THANK YOU!! (My favourite suggestions: women who wear heels to work, wasps, loud conversations, dating, scented trash bags.)
      I wish I had your brain – if I had as many random thoughts in my head as you I would be a very happy writer 🙂
      Thank you!

  28. Hello,

    Considering the fact that I’m 21 year old kid who just got out of college. Considering the fact that I’m unemployed and I got no idea where to work. Considering the fact that I’m good at studies and got good grades yet I do not like to work in the field in which i majored in. Considering the fact that writing is all I like to do and I happen to have a distant dream of making it out as a successful writer someday. So keeping all of this in mind, could you suggest me avenues to take to achieve my longtime dream? I’m sure I know how to write or I wouldn’t be having this dream at all. But I don’t know where to start. Should I start as a freelancing writer or try for a job in some magazines, I got no idea. So any advice from your part to take the first step into this world would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you!

  29. First of all, every time you say literally ANYTHING I get very excited and settle in to giggle and read especially funny passages to my dog who, I assure you, couldn’t possibly give less of a shit. (It’s not you, it’s her.)

    Have you already written about how stupid boys are?

  30. How about how to deal with a traffic jam patiently….crazy drivers….awkward moments like you are laughing remembering an incident and the main character of the incident walk in…. 🙂 these are some of the on the spot subjects…will comment if I find some new ones…. 🙂

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